Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Married Mondays...again, a bit behind. A little inspiration in the name of <3...

My heart is sad when I hear people talk about marriage in a negative way or hear of friends  and family struggling with theirs. Throughout my engagement, I would have random people make comments like, "you're sure you want to do that?", "wait a few years and you'll be over the newlywed bliss", "don't let me ruin it for you, but....". I know that everyone has problems and let's be honest, 50% of marriages do fail! I think <3 is a sweet thing and it should be honored more though.  If you're close to taking this step in your relationship, it's important to talk to your married friends and family that your close to about their experiences.  I also think if it's a friend getting married, you should lightly point out that marriage is work and has to be worked at continuously, share your personal experiences or get them a book on marriage advice/"talk" to help bring to light the things couples struggle with.  There should be no shame in taking counseling as it shows your responsible and making the effort to make the right decision.

Personally I think a lot of women, especially younger, wear rose colored glasses and think that it's a piece of cake and sometimes get caught up in the excitement of wedding and honeymoon plans. I think it takes time to get to know your significant other and test your compatibility. Enjoy the courtship and getting to know each other.  Sometimes people get married after little time together and live happily ever after and that's awesome! I would think it's best to play it safe and live life and experience the good with the bad to make sure "your person" (I am a Grey's fanatic) is committed and loves you through it all. I also think this time you get to know yourself better and what you want and ultimately want to make out of your life. You will have time to make sure your significant other is on the same page and has the same views on money, raising a family, religion, and other topics that are important to you. Sidenote- Did you know money is the biggest problem for couples during their 1st year of marriage? This is mostly due to the fact that young couples have never had the responsibility of having to manage all the bills in the real world and/or not used to sharing incomes and the responsibilities.

I know I am a Newlywed and have a lot to learn myself but I know I will do my best to make sure I can uphold my vows. I want the "happily ever after" and will work at the "ugly" to get there. I recently came across a page on Facebook called "Marriage Works!". They post daily inspirations and I love reading them!  Some of my favorites include:

~Marriage is a marathon, and short-distance runners will never see the finish line. Aim to finish the race w/your mate.

Jeff has helped me find my love for running and to learn to not give up so easy. During our hard times, I was the first to try to give up! I think I just have been let down by so many people and that was my way to deal with it. Thank God, Jeff didn't let me and showed me that what we have is worth fighting for!

~Treating friends & strangers better than you treat your spouse is dishonorable. Show love & respect to your mate.

Why is it so easy for some spouses to invest so much effort in "friend" time when they could be investing in their marriage? There is a balance, and finding it is hard, but quality time with your spouse should be a priority or you will lose communication! Make time for date nights!

The most timeless relationship wisdom ever
~Building a strong, healthy marriage is a progressive action, not a one-time event. Invest everyday to make your marriage work.

Constant reminder that the little things everyday matter. Send a random text, leave a handwritten note, simply thank them for what they do....its crazy how those unexpected things mean so much!

~Following Christ won't guarantee a perfect marriage, but it will guarantee His strength, direction, and grace.

God is good! Learn to look to him for guidance!
Perfect verse to live and love by.

~Maintaining a healthy marriage is one of the best gifts you can give your children.

I hope to give our children a marriage they can want to duplicate with their own!

~Resentment is a negative emotion that can be stored up and left to fester. Over time, it can lead to a complete breakdown in communication.

One of the hardest things to overcome but we have to forgive to move forward.

~Make a commitment to "show up" in your marriage. BE the spouse you would want to be married to.

Good reminders to treat Jeff with respect, honor him, and support his passions. We all want someone to be there for us

Dating While Married--a 4-point plan
~Neither spouse should "boss" the other around. That's not marriage, that's management. Serve one another in love.

Make decisions together and learn to compromise. I can't stand to see this happen as it's just wrong and disrespectful. Don't think you have to "wear the shoes" aren't their parent!

~Make sure your spouse knows he/she is more important to you than your family & friends.

Don't let anyone disrespect your spouse! You should always be each others' biggest fan and everyone
should see it through your actions:)

I love being married to "my person" and am blessed to have such a wonderful husband! We have daily spats, but it's nice being comfortable laughing at how silly we can be. Living under the same house, having pressures in everyday life, and being human can be hard on a marriage but we should all WANT to work a little harder to be positive and finish our true marathon in love

Lastly, a story that was shared on Facebook that I thought was sweet and wanted to share with y'all.....I am a Romantic, what can I say;)

TRUE LOVE ..(A Doctor's note):

It was approximately 8.30 a.m. on a busy morning when an elderly gentleman in his eighties arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9.00 a.m.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat. I knew it would take more than an hour before someone would to able to attend to him. I
...saw him check his watch anxiously for the time and decided to evaluate his wound since I was not busy with another patient.

On examination, the wound was well healed. Hence, I talked to one of the doctors to get the supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

We began to engage in a conversation while I was taking care of his wound. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment later as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no and said that he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife.

I inquired about her health. He told me that she had been in the nursing home for a while as she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. I probed further and asked if she would be upset if he was slightly late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and she had not been able to recognize him since five years ago.
I asked him in surprise, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back my tears as he left.
I had goose bumps on my arm, and I thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
Hope anyone that is having problems in their marriage can be inspired to make changes to help it
re-vive! After all. this is the person who you chose to marry and be your partner in life!  For you single people, don't let others scare you.  Follow your heart and take your time.  Everything will fall into place when it's suppose to. 
Your marriage is your garden. Either you tend it well and reap love, or you take it for granted and harvest thorns.

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